reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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