Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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