There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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