What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
i think my cat just said my name.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
