i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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