Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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