How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
