idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
