Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
