and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
