Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
