Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
