That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
