turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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