I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
