By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
