So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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