I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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