so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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