you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
splinters make it hard to masturbate
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
