just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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