The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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