you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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