Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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