Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
