I seem to have left my pride at pride
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
