problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
