yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
