sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
