Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think people are normalizing furries
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
