"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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