who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
