no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
