i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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