Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
