halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
