Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
