Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
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