While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
