I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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