Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
