Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
