I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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