You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
