'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
