So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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