he wants to bone in the snuggie
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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