What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
