This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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