i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
