he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
